At some point we all look up and realize we are lost in a maze.
Perfect disaster, ever after.
E X C U S E M E
YOU ARE E LIST MOTHER FUCKER. IM # FUCKING 1 AND YOURE THROWIN SHADE AT ME??? YOU BETTER FALL THE FUCK BACK WITH YOUR DAD MUSTACHE LOOKIN LIKE YOU HAVIN A MID LIFE CRISIS WEARING SHORTS AND A SNAPBACK. EVEN BLACK MACKLEMORE OVER THERE ON THE LEFT GIVIN THAT SIDE EYE AT YOUR SHITTY OUTFIT. IRRELEVANT ASS BITCH.
call me super glue cause holy shit do i get attached
don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…
dude, what if a prince is cursed to be a dragon but instead of being upset by it, they’re like ‘hell yeah i’m a dragon’ and they spend weeks finding the perfect decrepit castle to haunt and try to convince their fiancé to be a princess in the tower ‘just for like a week’ and everyone is like ‘we can break the fucking curse’ and the prince is like ‘but i’m a dragon.’
"A year ago we stayed up till 3 am talking
And today I don’t know how to even say hey"
I MOVE INTO COLLEGE A MONTH FROM TODAY
"i don’t support feminism because i don’t hate men"
If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity
Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle
"Not all men are like that."
That’s fine. What are you doing about the ones that are?
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom